Cautious Introvert

Okay guys, I have a confession.

I wasn’t always an introvert.

21432998_10155671384109941_5642084320629170786_n

I never really thought about it before now, but is that something that naturally changes.  We tell introverts they “need to come out of their shell” but have you ever heard someone tell an extrovert they need to go into their shell. I don’t know about you, but I have dealt with a few extreme extroverts who I wanted to tell to step into a shell. I know for me it wasn’t a natural transition.  It was a life changing moment that caused the change inside.

Recently, I have been bothered by how comfortable it has been for me to live a life of an introvert.  It is nice to choose my social highs and lows, but I don’t have the emotional support of a grounded group of friends.  I have become so conditioned as an introvert I have become somewhat recluse.  I am not anti-social, but I am very protective. Which has made me someone standoffish. It bothers me because now I have two influential children I don’t want to follow my footsteps.

1455131_10152052645199941_2029531814_n

If it wasn’t for the life altering circumstance I know it would be different.  It has been a challenging road for me to “find myself” again.  It sounds so cliché, but it is my reality.  Bottling yourself up for protection changes you.

I know we have all heard of those people who had horrible experiences, yet instead of living with the chains that bound them, they live surprising inspirational, full, and rewarding lives?  Well, that is not me. I sometimes wonder what I did wrong to be where I am.  I mean, I know what “I” did wrong, but the things out of my control…what did I do wrong.  Why could I not rise above and be a rewarded and inspirational person?  I grew up going to church.  The same church my entire childhood.  You would think for that fact I had Jesus on my side, I would be in the winner’s seat right there.

 

It is hard to be a cautious introvert. That is what I am going to call it.  I am a cautious introvert.  I don’t give easy.  And when I give, I give fully.  God forbid I feel betrayed because I have learned to cut strings easy.  I don’t do it out of spite.  I do it out of protection.  Or, I did at least.

I have learned in the last few years how hard it is keep those strings fully intact.  It can hurt, and some hurts are greater than others.  But, I’ve noticed the strings are strong.  And, I become stronger than those strings, especially when I allow people to have faults.  I have them, for Pete’s sake. I never put myself on a pedestal, although my caution may have appeared I did.

But, that isn’t who I am.

22154611_10155728451269941_2061793861857011865_n

I have also realized that who I am does not rely on how inspirational or rewarded I am, or how much I throw caution to the wind.  The self-evolution from a cautious introvert to a functional introvert has allowed me to give more to others.  I am not perfect, and the transformation drains me immensely, but it is worth it.

Is there self-evolution in your life?  If there was/is, what tools did you use to help you with the transformation?

11 thoughts on “Cautious Introvert

Add yours

  1. I was very extrovert as a child and life was great and it was one of my happiest period of my life. Then I went into the teenager and life at home was not going very well for private reason and I started to build wall piece by piece to the point that it was very hard going out. I lost myself. Then I meet someone who loved me very much and I then slowly but not completly destroying the wall. But now at 37 that wall is almost gone.

    Like

  2. I can relate to what you wrote. I was extrovert during my childhood but while growing up I had all sorts of friends in my circle. I think because of the the circle i was in it changed me somehow and I became introvert. I would say it was a slow transition but one I am happy with.

    Like

  3. As a child, I was head, cheerleader in marching band and ran for student government. Now, very much like you, I prefer the reclusive life. I have studied and learned over the years that what we call extroversion and introversion is simply where you get your energy. Extroverts get their energy from their outside world – introverts are more reflective, receiving energy from within. No judgements, just is, like preferring one color over another. For me, it is fabulous way to grow up to myself. I bless you on your path, dear One, and know the you are guided in every step. May you arrive to the magnificence of who you are in everything you do.

    Like

  4. As a child, I was super extrovert, be at home or at school and I ensured my mark was made everywhere I went. But as I went into college, the pressure of performing took over and for 2-3 years, I became an introvert. Though the transition was lil difficult, but I had so much energy within myself that I achieved all my goals being an Introvert.

    Like

    1. You put your energy into the right place, your studies. I know I wasn’t the only person to change, but I am surprised to see that with age many people tend to choose the introvert lifestyle.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: