Seasons give us an opportunity to take a moment and muse over how things are stacked up. Are we at a crossroad or right where we need to be. New Year is a season of its own, and highly regarded as a time to make resolutions. Reflecting over the past year on what made us happy, brought us tears, advanced us in life, or the steps taken back. I believe there is a status quo idea of what a New Year brings, but there is a personal zest on how we capture our dreams, goals and hopes for the new year- or not for some of us.
The thing I don’t like about new year resolutions is they are easy to break. We are on a high of eagerness of wanting positive changes, so we make promises to ourselves to make new habits. We are told it takes three weeks to make a new habit. How many of you celebrate when you realize you just made a new habit? Do you often use an old habit for the celebration and then feel you just took big leaps backwards? And the celebration turns to a sinking ship. Our thoughts of failing make us wonder why we even try, or maybe we just like the gratification of our old ways and stay there too long forgetting the promise we made to ourselves.
I also don’t like them because I feel often they are superficial. Maybe that is changing, or I just ask the wrong people about their resolutions. For me, I usually want resolutions that are not tangible but more self-empowering. I suppose that can be a tangible thing when I take steps towards a healthier personal perspective on myself and life as I know it. I feel the positive changes in my outlook and I am certain others feel it too.
The thing that concerns me about resolutions based on feelings is the light at the end of the tunnel seems unattainable. Emotions are an unstable roller coaster that is impossible to control. We can learn to react differently, become more self-confident, find our tribe of people, and address obstacles that hinder us. We put a high amount of pressure on ourselves in the beginning and it may seem exhausting. Triggers seem more obvious, and there is the guilt of changing how you interact with certain people especially family members.
I realize that for some of us, me included, it is harder to see the growth in the early stages. For whatever reason we have been shipwrecked on an island of lost hope. What we don’t realize is when we notice a trigger, we view it as “there is no hope, it never changes.” What we don’t focus on is, we noticed the trigger. The trigger has been identified and can be addressed by processing instead of reacting. Reactions don’t always have to be negative, but they do put us in a place where we don’t feel good enough, strong enough, or worthy enough. If you are like me and have not recognized your growth maybe this will help you bridge that gap. This last year has been easier in the recognition department with this focus.
Looking back, past New Years have been many things to me. Rejuvenating, defiant, even disregarded. This year I am choosing to be purposeful. A journey of growth is never over – no matter if it is personal , physical , career , or targeted. I want to hear how you celebrate -or don’t- a new year.